The Pickpocket...

People were crushing me from every side...
As the crowded bus jolted along on its bumpy ride...
Cursed was I to stand through the entire fare...
Enduring the stench of sweat, hot in the air...

As usual the men were sighting within eyesight range...
As usual the conductor was croaking, "I want only change"...
As usual the fat women were arguing for a seat...
As usual the youth were performing their footboard feat...

I stood like a statue amidst this crowd...
In fear and tension my heart beating loud...
Shivers were soaring up my spine like a rocket...
As I had my salary of 5000 rupees in my pocket...

Pickpockets were quite common in buses these days...
And so I eyed everyone with a suspicious gaze...
Especially my enemy, who stood a few paces in front of me...
I knew he was waiting for a chance to get back at me...

I imagined the consequences of losing the cash...
My wife throwing a clay pot at my head...Crash!!!
Five pots already broken in last five days...
With me ending up in hospital for five brief stays...

But for that, my wife I just cannot blame...
Its just that she is blessed with pretty good aim...
So I prayed to Lord Ganesha that if my money was secure...
For him nice, delicious rice cakes I shall procure...

It was then that I noticed a tall, dark man...
Who stood to my right, as close as he can...
Upon his face there played an evil grin...
He seemed most likely to have committed some sin...

So just to confirm, into my pocket I slowly slid my palm...
And upon groping around, I totally lost my calm...
The pocket was as empty as our CM's head...
I knew that today my wife will have me dead...

While I was thinking of flying pans and broken pots...
The tall, dark man smirked, as if he read my thoughts...
He was staring coldly, straight into my eyes...
And I gulped, as I knew my weak limbs wouldn't suffice...

This man had picked my pocket and knew I had found him out...
But why wasn't he moving was my only doubt...
Perhaps he was about to attack me with some secret weapon...
And escape out of the bus only then...

Not knowing what to do I just stood dumbstruck...
Due to fear, in my pocket, my hand lay stuck...
I was just beginning to plan retreiving my cash...
When all of a sudden, it all happened in a flash...

The dark man's howl stirred up a commotion...
As he caught my right hand in one smooth motion...
He shouted, "Pickpocket! Stop the bus! He's caught in the act!...
He's been trying for quite some time infact!"

The people around began to murmur, gossip and shout...
While I just blinked, thinking everyone's nut was totally out...
Only then I realised the cause of all this racket...
I had slid my hand not into mine, but into the other man's pocket...

No one was ready to accept that it was a mistake...
There was none to even argue for my sake...
The dark man went on, "He has stolen 1000 rupees from me. Phew!"
That his pocket had already been empty, I alone knew...

And so he cleverly milked from me a 1000 rupees...
Aha! What a nice way to earn money with ease...
Just then a voice, "Lets give him a sound thrashing! Join me!"
I turned around with a sinking heart to see it was my enemy...

The atmosphere within the bus grew stormy like the outside weather...
As all the passengers got menacingly together...
They didnt even care if for my act there was any proof...
Punches and kicks fell upon me like rain beating upon a roof...

Within moments, like Vadivelu, I was reduced to a pitiable plight...
In such acts of beating alone, Indians somehow seem to unite...
Splash! Into the gutter I fell as I was thrown out...
"Oye! Thanks a lot!" from the bus there came this shout...

Fumbling weakly, I stood up upon my legs...
And found my only good shirt had been torn to dregs...
Atleast I had 4000 rupees left...
Lord Ganesha never leaves me bereft...

Thinking so I searched my pocket but found no purse!
I have to manage the month with that necklace of hers...
When I was getting beaten, some pickpocket must have done his plot...
It must have been that rascal who shouted thanks a lot...

Now who will pay for extra injuries that my wife would make...
I wont give Lord Ganesha any more rice cake...
Thoughts of flying pots and a broken head made me sick...
But I told myself, "Cheer up! Your wife's on a double hattrick!"